The Swordsmen Or Fifty Shades of Gray Matter The Swordsman Series eBook Dick Wybrow
Download As PDF : The Swordsmen Or Fifty Shades of Gray Matter The Swordsman Series eBook Dick Wybrow 
*"These books just keep getting better and more hilarious as they go on!"-- Rene, GoodReads.com
*"This was too funny… Laughing just thinking about it!"-- LadyP, reader
*"Hard to put down!" -- Judy, GoodReads.com
This is the COMPLETE series--
THE SWORDSMEN
(formally known as Fifty Shades of Gray Matter)
a funny zombie apocalypse story
BOOKS 1 - 5
As Hal drives home from his entry level Graphic Designer job, weaving slowly through traffic which the growing zombie commuter population make worse every day, he decides Why go to work for one more day if, inevitably, waiting in line at the Cinnabon or whatever, I'll suffer the whole "rahrr!" crunch! thing from some wandering gimp?
Coming home to tell his lovely girlfriend about this decision, she greets him with a kiss (well...) and gets him infected, like herself, with the Zombie Bird Flu.
He's seen what becoming a citizen of the Nation of the Undead looks like Poor hygiene, limited vocabulary, and affinity for 24-7 interstate driving.
Who wants that?
So, Hal stumbles over to a nearby pharmacy, breaks in, finds the locked up stash of prescription pain medication and gobbles down a handful in hopes of slipping off into the sweet slumber of non-zombie death.
But, it hadn't been pain meds he'd downed. It was Erectile Dysfunction medicine.
And, funny that-- it turns out that tiny amount of blood (just being honest) diverted from the brain is just enough to keep the Full Zombie effects at bay. Hal is now a creature inches away from zombie-- Near Zombie.
So, through an odd collections of mistakes, missteps, and total cock ups, Hal (imbued with odd, Near Zombie abilities) sets out to Save Mankind from the Zombie Horde Even Those Who Don't Deserve It.
In truth, it won't likely go very well.
The original title 50 SHADES OF GRAY MATTER is now the subtitle to mitigate the ongoing confusion about this being some sort of mommy porn book. Hmm.
The Swordsmen Or Fifty Shades of Gray Matter The Swordsman Series eBook Dick Wybrow
I borrowed the first book in this series from my library and enjoyed it so much that I got the whole series! It's not classic literature by any stretch of the imagination, but I thoroughly enjoyed the story and actually laughed out loud at a couple of points while reading. it really has nothing to do with the more popular 50 shades books, but if you enjoy crude/crass humor along with some zombie killin' than this series insightful your alley!Product details
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The Swordsmen Or Fifty Shades of Gray Matter The Swordsman Series eBook Dick Wybrow Reviews
the real reason is that I acquired it for my wife and it was a little bit blood thirsty for her, but she has another picked out that I am sure she will acquire.
BIZARRE story with too much blood and guts for my taste. I actually bought this book thinking it was another, then read it to conclusion. My conclusion - a waste of time.
This is a very tongue-in-cheek comedy series that pokes fun at almost every aspect of modern American life. No stereotype is too demeaning or above mocking criticism to Connid. Some of the jokes are fast and sophomoric, while others weave their way brilliantly through the entire series. All in all, a funny entertaining read. (I DEFINITELY would not reccomend it for kids)
Very funny and easy read, will be looking for more from this author. Would recommend to others that are looking for something off the beaten path.
Loved this book! It could have used some editing, but otherwise I thought it was fabulous. The whole idea is wonderful and it was super funny. I know it's called "semi-erotica" but don't let that discourage you from reading it if that's not your thing. Basically the way to keep you from becoming a "full zombie" after being bitten is to remain aroused (so blood flows away from your brain) and the main characters do this by taking erectile dysfunction medication. There are some jokes about this, but that's as bad as it gets. No sex scenes or anything. I got this book for free thanks to freezombiebooks.com, and it is definitely my favorite out of all the free books I've read. I could even see myself reading it again. Would give 5 stars if it wasn't for some editing issues.
Having purchased and been bored by the 50 Shades series, I came across the Swordsman Series and was instantly intrigued!! I LOVED the paradies by Seth Grahame-Smith (Abraham Lincoln Vampire Slayer, and Pride, Prejudice and Zombies), and hoped this would be similar.... While it isn't graphically sexual, it is more bathroom humor spiced with a little gore.... okay, a bit more than a little.... Still, light-hearted (if you don't take it too seriously) and doesn't make me feel like I am missing something (a la 50 Shades). Quick, fun, gross, and better than a book that reads like one long Penthouse Forum letter......
Not for just anyone - this book takes a humorous stab at the undead. True, there are some descriptions that made me wince, but overall I enjoyed the series. They are a quick read and have characters that coax you through the story. This one wouldn't be appropriate for the young'uns, but adults will enjoy the trials of some regular folks faced with impending Zombie-ism.
I borrowed the first book in this series from my library and enjoyed it so much that I got the whole series! It's not classic literature by any stretch of the imagination, but I thoroughly enjoyed the story and actually laughed out loud at a couple of points while reading. it really has nothing to do with the more popular 50 shades books, but if you enjoy crude/crass humor along with some zombie killin' than this series insightful your alley!
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